Update is taking a backseat...

Hello, friends...
  I was on facebook  this morning, as I usually start my workday.
I could not help but see person after person with needs.
Specifically... my friend, Karla who will be having an exploratory surgery to see if her cancer has spread anywhere else.  She is a fighter and a great woman of God who has many praying and thinking of her.
My aunt Julie's grandmother is in the ICU with congestive heart failure.
There are many sick or coming out of surgeries that I have read.
I am burdened by all these things that happen on earth to make life hard to live sometimes.
It makes me thankful for my health... my family, who is my support system, and most of all for my faithfulness in my God. Without the comfort of knowing that He is beside me, I don't have any hope at all.
... I was completely humbled. He convicted me about being the best parent I can be to Asher, on behalf of Him. I realized that especially through this trying time of "threes" I need to rely on him more for patience, guidance and knowledge.
And again... I would fail miserably without knowing Him.
I seem to think that I can solely be responsible for teaching Asher how to act and behave. But when the going gets really rough... my faulty human nature who is quick to anger and impatient really has a hard time being quiet and fair.  That's when I need Him most.
To quiet the angry, controlling, and selfish nature... into the forgiving, merciful and wise.
To each situation.. whether you have financial issues, parenting trials, sickness, loss of a loved one... you name it, every situation, you need the strength, forgiveness, love, and hope that can only come from above.

With a broken heart...

As I am watched the radar on the 10 o'clock news, I opened an email from World Vision. It was a story from a World Vision global editor. She had been a journalist to Kenya for at least 5 years, where there is horrible drought and heat.  Her story was about a 3 year old boy named Ibrihim, who died the day she was in his village. They were digging his little child sized grave when she arrived. There are so many Somalians taking refuge in Kenya and there is just not enough food and clinic help to accommodate them all. Little Ibrihim was so weak from no food and water that he didn't survive the trip to the clinic to help save him.
We received a letter from our precious sponsor child, Jimmy, asking us to pray for his land. He said that it is so dry and hot that all their crops are dying.  While I think that Jimmy and his family will stay safe, there are so many that are starving and their livestock and crops are dying as well. 
Reading this and seeing the rain move in and the welcomed break from the heat that we have been blessed with, I can't help but be so sad. 
A little boy, Asher's age, with nothing to eat and because of that had to pay the ultimate price.
That seems so very unfair.
Please join me in praying desperately for this land....
They need rain, they need food... and so many other things.
Things that we take for granted everyday.
If you feel the call to donate here's a link to World Vision... there are so many ways!!!

Donate!

 “If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
   with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
   and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
   and your night will become like the noonday.
¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
   and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
   like a spring whose waters never fail.
¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
   and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
   Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."

Isaiah 58:9-12

Bara.

Yesterday, Rich and I took some taco soup over to his Grandparents house for supper while he mowed their lawn. We always love going to "Papa 'n' Nana's" (as Asher calls it) it's always so warm and loving there. Papa is usually outside doing something (though recently he's a little slower due to some health problems) in the garden or shop. Asher loves to go and "help". He does most things anyone asks him to help with, especially Papa.
 Asher is an outside boy. Anything is better outside to him. In fact, there are days that we will go outside and play "our game" that consists of throwing acorns at the tree and trying to hit the knots on the trunk. The higher you go the more points they are worth. He just loves the freedom to run and be a boy.  And I like that! On these beautiful days I would much rather be outside too!
Papa had asked him to help dig up some onions that he had planted and put them in the bucket to take to the shop and wash. Of course, Asher picked each one up as gently as a 2 year old would and put them in the bucket. He watched Papa dig all the bulbs up and would count as each would emerge from the dirt. He and Papa love to count things. As they were working, a stray cat came over to visit and get some petting from us. It was just the cutest thing to watch Asher chase that cat all over the back yard. Watching him made me want a farm. Not a huge one but one where we could have some dogs, cats and maybe some chickens and goats. I can picture him having such fun taking care of the animals. I am an animal person, as most of you know. When I was little if there was ever a time that I could not be found, more than likely I was out back with the dogs. Time with Nana and Papa is so precious to us. My Gparents have all gone and I never knew my Great Gparents. As we left, Rich said how glad he was that Asher has some great memories with them.
As I was reading my Bible study... hahaha... you knew this was coming.  It was about how God created.
Last night I had remembered thinking how thankful I was for the weather, the cat, the plants and flowers, and for my family. All these are creations by the one who is enthroned above the circle of  the earth.
The word  Bara (Ba-raw) is the Greek for create. The meaning says " to be made by God".
Since this word "created" was first mentioned in the creation of man  it seems it's referring to the spiritual creation that God made in humans. He created us in His own image.... meaning he made our emotions and spirit like His. When you think about this, this is our true self.... our physical bodies are only a shell. Our soul is our image of God.
Not only did he create the flowers, cats, weather for us to enjoy but he made the relationships that bless our lives. I grow homesick for the day when we live as we were created for. Completely un-distracted, in pure worship and fellowship with Him. That's gonna be glorious. For now, I step back and give thanks for all these little peeks into what that life will be like.... watching children play and sing with Jesus, gardens beyond beautiful for us to enjoy, and surrounded by those that we love most of all together in corporate worship of our Savior and Lord.

Fear.

Like I have posted before, I am knee deep in my Bible reading. Boy, it feels good to be there, but, there are some things that, while reading, God has wanted me to address. Within myself that is.
I have said this before too, I'm a controller. With this condition comes a parallel disease called worry.
I worry. I worry just about everyday.
Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind because Satan feeds me with some of the worst things to think about. Especially when I'm away from Asher... while I'm at work, while I'm in bed.
Most of these things I can pray away but there is one that is unrelenting.
I'm sure that I am not the only person, least of which a Mom, that worries about this.
Death. Not of me, but of Asher.
I like to believe that, if ever faced with a death of a child, I could cling to the truths that I know. But-- I don't know. That would shake my world beyond what I feel like a could handle. And truly, after reading this last sentence, It would. But it wouldn't for God.
And in some sick way, the fact that I am thinking about this, makes me scared that it will really happen. Even while reading today a verse scared me. Isaiah 32:9-10  "Stand up you complacent women: listen to me. Pay attention to what I say, you overconfident daughters. In a little more than a year you overconfident ones will shudder, for the vintage will fail and the harvest will not come. "
I know this is a warning to the people of the day, but I am ( though working on it) a complacent woman.
My faith is not strong enough, by my ignorance of it, to withstand the failing.
I guess my fears are fed by this ignorance. And to some degree, I like living in the worry though I don't know why. I guess that I am just enough superstitious that by not giving these fears to God I feel like I can keep it from happening. Crazy. I know.
So I'm working on it.
Complacency. Isaiah 30:9-11
" They are a rebellious people, deceptive children, children who do not obey the Lord's instruction.
They tell the seers, Do not see. They tell the prophets Do not prophesy the truths to us. Tell us flattering things. Prophesy illusions. Get out of the way! Leave the pathway! Rid us of the Holy One of Israel."
Boy. That hits home for me.
I have wanted to feel great, blessed, fed, and fat and sassy when leaving church. Sucked into the "sugar coated" phenomenon that churches has succumbed to these days. A happy tale of Christians being blessed with trees of money and a life of success, each packaged up in a pretty bow that says if you pray for this and be focused on this it will happen.
I'm sorry, is this what you all were taught growing up? I sure wasn't.
How bout this scenario.....?
 A graceful tale of a Savior, Jesus, who bled and died for your lying, gossiping, complacency, gluttony, selfishness. Through this relationship comes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness,  and self control. Pure joy! This is true happiness.
This is the key to face trails and tribulations. And folks, we WILL.
Instead, of worrying and filled with panic for what might come, I want to prepare my heart to rely on the one who is working these things for His kingdom.
While I feel God gives us, as parents, the sense to keep our children out of harms way.... we are not immune to sufferings. Instead of focusing on these fears, I want to focus on the death of another Son that through his death brings me life.... and WOW I am so unworthy of this most precious gift. And I have not understood this more than when I became a mother myself.

Blogcrazy.

Blogging, I have found, has been the best way to make the afternoon go faster. Today, I am in need of such thing!

I have had a great time reading my Bible lately. Last night I was in Isaiah.... which is one of the most INCREDIBLE books of the Bible I have read. In my own Bible reading as well as the Faith Study I am doing with Beth Moore. Our ladies group has been studying it with DVD's on each Thursday night, but I can't go usually so I have just been doing the Bible reading and study questions on my own. I figure anything to get me into the Word, I need to be doing it.

Last night most of my reading was about the empty faith that many believers have. They give God the lip service that He wants to hear but inside they do nothing more. The don't tithe, they don't give their service, they don't even pay attention when they are giving God their " hour" each Sunday morning.

God talks directly to these people in Isaiah...

The Lord says:

       "These people come near to me with their mouth

       and honor me with their lips,

       but their hearts are far from me.

       Their worship of me

       is made up only of rules taught by men.   ¹⁴ Therefore once more I will astound these people

       with wonder upon wonder;

       the wisdom of the wise will perish,

       the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

 ¹⁵ Woe to those who go to great depths

       to hide their plans from the LORD,

       who do their work in darkness and think,

       "Who sees us? Who will know?"

 ¹⁶ You turn things upside down,

       as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!

       Shall what is formed say to him who formed it,

       "He did not make me"?

       Can the pot say of the potter,

       "He knows nothing"?

In my interpretation God is asking... " Who do you think you are?" You call upon my name and yet you do not live like you even know my name! ( ooo... I just gave myself goosebumps!)

And in my study Beth Moore asks the question... " Who do you think I (God) am?"  Going from the 29th chapter to the 45th chapter of Isaiah.... God answers this plainly as ever.

Imagine the things you feel like God is and then multiply that by a trillion-quadrilion-bazillion. He is more than you will ever fathom or comprehend.  He is more loving, sovereign, powerful, merciful, graceful, you name it--He's more.

To me, that's pretty cool.... and he loves me. He created me. Not just to roam the earth unimportant, but to have a purpose. A purpose to glorify Him. A purpose to show others this love as well.

I want to have my faith stretched..... I want to know, to know, to know.... what God has planned for me.

I want to stop giving into my empty promises that I keep giving Him and actually live out a... "present-active-participle" faith. Which means ever changing, growing, evolving. Here's the first step. READ. YOUR. BIBLE. God does not like to be packaged up in a pretty little bow.    How else can God reveal new truths to you if you are not in His Word daily. If you think that the things you learned when you were 5 are going to carry you through... you are wrong. After 27 years, I have finally realized this.

I want to live what God is actively revealing to me... and I encourage each of you to do the same.

Hunger

Lately, have been doing much thinking about the Word of God. How I am almost afraid of what it might reveal to me. I have never been good about reading it on a daily basis. Satan has a stronghold on me with this... when I think about sitting down to open communication and study with God, I almost always find something better to do... laundry, sleep, dishes, sleep. Why is this? I am a child of God--- you would think that I would KNOW that this is the only way to have a close relationship with Him. And you know, in my rational mind, I do WANT to. Why does it take so much to get to to be disciplined  and committed to this. People, I sure talk the talk... but I limp with the walk.
I have experienced great connection with Him and his Word when I was studying Daniel. It was like a great book that I could not put down.... constantly revealing itself in every verse. I had a hunger for God's Word.... it was AMAZING. Despite remembering  how great it feels, I have yet to get back to that place.
Sunday's sermon was very personal for me, it was about the backslidden Christian. I came to the conclusion that I started out a backsliddden Christian. Never taught that the key to staying close with God was to read His written Word. As I have grown older I know that, but have yet to stay committed to this most important command.
I want it to, again, be like a piece of chocolate.... When I am sad---I want it, when I am happy--I want it, When I stressed and angry-- I want it. I want God's Word to become my ultimate comfort food!
I am trying to rebuild my relationship with Him... I am looking forward to seeing what intimacy feels like with Him again and the joy and excitement that results.I want to be pleasing to Him--in worship, in fellowship with Him. I want to get away from the sake of church and actually become the church!!!!  Prayers for me, my friends, and that this would trickle down in the hearts of everyone who feels disconnected from God.  I love my verse this morning:

"See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty
deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the
elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."
Colossians 2:8

It's time to say goodbye to the love of the world, and fall in love with God and the life He promises! ---Cause it's a great one!

 

 

Sacrifice

So.....I started out the day feeling guilty as a Mama that I had to leave Asher today. He is going into a phase of separation anxiety. He cries each time I leave him, no matter who it is. Not just fake cries, real tear producing sobs. Makes me feel like crap with a capital C. I was feeling sorry for myself about it, then I watched a video on facebook that made me sob.... ( If you want to watch it I shared it on my profile....but be aware!)
Here I am feeling bad that I had to leave my son for 8 hours and then I would go get him later on and all would be right with the world again. I see these soldiers who risk their lives and their families lives to go to a hostile place and fight for our freedoms. Wow. I think my sacrifice is big?  I can imagine feeling how I feel today times 100...each and every day you aren't with them. And they do that for me.... They do it for YOU.
Then, of course, that sprouted me thinking about Jesus. I know how hard it is to believe that God loves you more than your parents do, but He does. I know it's hard to think that God loves your kids more than you, but He does! Imagine having the capacity to be the very definition of love. He sent himself to walk the earth and glorify God, serve others, LOVE like none had ever known before. Voluntarily!
Then to pay the ultimate sacrifice for you and me.....and die. Not just die....beaten, torn, broken down, mocked, nailed to a cross, tortured, ----everything done to Him that you couldn't and wouldn't want to think about your kids going through.Voluntarily!! Now that is sacrifice.
I am so thankful for those that are and have served for this country. You absolutely AMAZE me!!!!!! I can't imagine being away from my family for the time that you devote to serve. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! Know that you are being prayed for each and every day.
And I am so thankful that my God loves me enough to devote His time everyday, His sacrifice everyday, His blessings everyday. I know that I do not deserve the abundant life He promises.

SIN.

I have been obsessing about SIN lately.What it is, How it started, What is our proper reaction to it?.... I have just a few thoughts on this in the modern world. Let me preface this by saying.... this blog is for my own forum...NO ONE ELSE"S. So having said that, this is not a place for people to be ugly, use foul language, or try to attack me or any of my followers. If you do--- well, let's just say, you won't anymore! I appreciate comments and responses that are legit, and objective.
Ok...back to the topic at hand. SIN.
I sometimes have to meditate on the meaning and origin. Not ever a fun thing to do since it brings up all kinds of guilt and anguish, just for being the cause of the fall. Humans. But on some levels, I think that this is a healthy thing to do. I think we give ourselves WAY too much credit. Most of us, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, think we really are a good person. We have never stolen, murdered, cheated on our spouse.... And really by way of the world's standards we are! But my standards are a litter " higher up".
I was sitting in church and preacher was talking about our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives in us! He goes where we go, sees what we see, does what we do. Think about that?
Imagine this... You are a teen again...(couldn't pay me enough) and you have to drag your mom or dad around on your back doing everything with you. They see the people your with..(uh oh), they are doing what you are doing..(oh my), saying what you are saying.. ( ahhhhhh)!!! This is just the same as Christians filled with the Holy Spirit!
Think about the anguish and sadness we are subjecting the Holy Spirit to when we think it's ok to yell at someone out of anger or watch a filthy movie.   That stings a bit.
Then I got to thinking about all that we ignore about sin. And ALL of us do. We ignore the little snide remarks to our husbands on the way to church after a fight, we ignore when we are given more change and keep it-Their mistake. But ya know who doesn't ignore it? Yep. That makes you feel really good, huh?
And the worst part of it ALL? Christians are the people who KNOW BETTER! For goodness sake, we have the HOLY SPIRIT LIVING INSIDE OF US!!!!!!!! We are the ones who have the calling of what is sin, and we choose everyday to ignore it. Do we think it's just gonna go away? Precious children of God, we know it doesn't go away. We have to answer for all of it someday. Not only that, but in front of the Creator, Almighty Father, Everlasting One, Savior, God!!!!!!!!
Here is the good part though..... we do have to answer for it, but it is not held against us!!!!!! Whew! Jesus loves the sad, dark, screwed up, human race that he was tortured, abandoned, CRUCIFIED for us ALL!!!!
And you know he became sin. HE BECAME SIN! This is incredible to me...in such a new way. Meditate on this thought. Wow.
Here's the even better part.... Sin can't hold him down. He raised again to show us that he has, did, and will forever WIN!....... We have won.
My chains are gone I've been set free .... My God my Savior has ransomed me!  I will live forever in heaven with my Love. The one who bought me with his blood and I will never have sin, guilt, shame, embarrassment, torture, ridicule, sadness again. That is SWEET.
While we have our time here, let's remember we are the light of the world. There are only so many chances and opportunities to show others the love and compassion Christ has for them. Remember when you are about to give in to anger or temptation that your eyes, mouth, hands, feet, and mind are the Holy Spirit's as well. We really do deserve the cross ourselves.