A Funny Thing Happened....

Oh Folks....
I was locked out of my house today because our Garage Pad is always finicky in the cold weather as well as probably having dead batteries. So, I decided to go to Walgreens and get some lunch. On my way in, I see a man who is about 60-70 years old and wearing shorts, with a winter coat and stocking cap. Not a really nice coat, looks pretty old and dirty. I think to myself "Sir, you have got to be kidding me? Shorts when it's 32 degrees!" So I go in and pick out my lunch and keep getting in the same area as he was. The more I  was around him and thought about it the more I felt like I needed to ask him if he HAD a pair of pants to wear. So I put it off and put it off -- thinking I was going to embarrass him and me, until I had got into my car and he was coming out of the store. I really did have to ask him or else I would be worrying about it and thinking about it for a while. He made his way to his car which was not the nicest ( bungee chord holding something on... paint kinda rusty) and so I followed him. I parked my car right next to his and got out. I helped him with his bags and said to him in my very hoarse, almost non-existent- from the cold- voice, "Sir, I just have to ask you if you have some pants to wear on a cold day like this?" His response: "Yes maam, I have lots of pants. I just have a problem with peeing a lot and I have to be ready when it's time to go!" I said, "Alright sir thats great, I just could not bear to think that you didn't have any to wear, cause if you didn't we were gonna go buy you some!!!!"

Glad it was just that.... I guess I get an "E" for "Effort" right?
Boy, I bet the Lord is laughing at that one!

Thankfulness

I am torn today.
We, as a family, have had a disappointing month monetarily. Money we were counting on for Christmas, for this or that, simply did not come in.
That has been incredibly hard to swallow....
Seems like just when we think we will have some extra, something came up to take it away.
On any given day, I suppose, I would seem materialistic. Even thought most days I don't want to be.
Here we are at Thanksgiving, the time in the year where we recognize our blessings given to us from above, as well as the starting gate to the Christmas Shopping season.
On one hand I am discouraged, worrisome, and disappointed with what we will have to buy presents with ---( I love to give), though never have been the one to buy the most amazing present. This year with our savings from the last year I was hoping I would be able to do that. Our first real Christmas that Asher will be excited and able to participate more in, and here we are.... strapped again.
     Then I read about a little precious girl. She has been battling bilateral kidney cancer for the last year. She is only 2 years old and is back in the hospital with kidney failure. She is hooked up for dialysis, as well as on an oxygen machine since her lungs are full of fluid--that her little body can't get rid of from the damage. 
           Bear with me, since I am crying so hard I can't see the screen.
I am sure that her family would LOVE to only have to worry about how to buy Christmas presents. Instead they will spend Thanksgiving at the hospital praying for their little girl.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/pearlhollan/journal

    Rich and I went to drop off some clothes at Least of These on Saturday, not knowing they were having their  Thanksgiving Feast that day. A car would pull up, hand them their coupon and off they go with a full Thanksgiving meal. It was not a regular drop off day so we had to stay in the line of cars. I got out and told the director what we were there for and she went ahead and took the clothes.
My family has a great meal planned. We are able to buy groceries every week with no problem. We don't go without anything we need.
Folks, God has shown me how thankful I need to be. I have everything I ever need... most importantly my family is healthy.
What a selfish person I have been.....
I could have so much more.... and could have so much LESS.
God has stayed faithful to Rich and I.
I am thankful for breath each day, not just for myself but for those I love.
I am thankful for the home that we have.
I am thankful for the money that God provides us with so we can buy and give to ours and others needs.
In my focus this year, I am thankful for our health.  We take this for granted all the time.
I am thankful that I have freedom in Christ. He has washed this sin stricken body with His blood so that I may have life and have in more abundantly.
I am thankful that God has opened my eyes to my sin and placed near me someone who I can pray for and who reminds me how blessed I truly am.
Blessings don't come in a green piece of paper all the time..... they are small, everyday things that, If we only ask God to open our eyes to, we can see God's blessings all around us.
Happy Thanksgiving

Passion

Pas>sion:  noun

a: the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces

 b : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction

Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin passion-, passio suffering, being acted upon, from Latin pati to suffer — more at patient

Synonyms:

passion, fervor, ardor, enthusiasm, zeal mean intense emotion compelling action. passion applies to an emotion that is deeply stirring or ungovernable

     Most meanings of PASSION are related to an emotion or feeling that is so strong you lose control over it.

AS I was listening to a new song this morning I heard these words... " Let the Glory of Your Name be the PASSION of the church."   Then I got to thinking what exactly passion means. Or I guess the other definitions that I don't know or choose not to know. 

I would consider myself a passionate person at heart. I have learned to suppress it through the years... many foot in mouth situations after speaking without my filter.  I have many passions... family, loving others, loving animals----needless to say I believe that my spiritual gift is mercy. 

There are times that I do want to sell every thing I own and devote it to helping others. But alas... I do not.

I am proud that my Mom has taught me to love others, and that is the most important thing I want to pass to my kids. But why do we not have the passion like it describes above? Oh sure, we "want" to do all these great things but our passion is not the unwavering, unmastered, uncontrolled like it says. 

Oh to think what the world and church would be like if we did!!!!!!!

We have passion for those we are around... our close church, our family, or when we are asked to give for this or that. But on any given day? 

I feel like my passion is paralyzed. I have become sensitized not to be offending or being focused on my own life, etc....

For example, my family has decided to all pitch in some money and do some kind of charitable act for Christmas. To show our kids that we are called to do this and any time you can get your kids focused on giving to others the better, especially during the "me,me,me" holidays. We decided to adopt a family here in the local area. My first thought, was that some people take advantage of the system. I have heard of families registering from this place or that place and ending up having a huge amount of presents, far more than I ever did. So, I just generalized and thought our money would go farther and for someone's survival if we donated it abroad.  It would buy a family a goat or something that could make a village live or die, instead of toys -which is just extra.

Even after reliving this.. I have made myself sick. Giving is giving... no matter if it is the guy at the edge of the of the road holding a sign, or to the pregnant woman who is stuck at the grocery store without enough money..... giving is what God tells us to do! We are responsible for our motives... they are responsible for theirs. If we are obedient God honors that. 

I will never forget.... when I was about 7, my family went to Alanon meetings since my Dad is an alcoholic. We went to a place called Bridgeway which was a rehab center and they housed many patents. I remember thinking that I was in a retirement home because everyone there was on medication and seemed so old. They were sick, they were tired, they were emotionally a wreck. We would go there and support my Dad and I would play pool and eat ice cream. My mom had slippped away to use to use the bathroom and left me there by the front desk where the nurse was sorting pills for all the patients. I remembered I had some money in my pocket, though I don't remember how much or where I got it, but I felt called to give it to her. I remember stepping up to the front desk and telling her that I wanted to give this money to help the sick ones. I wish I can go back and relive this again and pay attention to the nurses face. All I remember is her giving me a pencil as a gift of appreciation and then telling my Mom what I had done. 

I remember feeling a sense of overwhelming love that made me want to cry for those people. They needed help and, as a child, I gave all I knew I could give. 

I wish that I had this passion for others again.... Oh sure, we have many things we give to monthly and things that we give as extra here and there. But we budget for this, we don't miss the money we give. That I feel IS a blessing from God honoring our obedience to do this. 

It doesn't have to be money... it can be time, support, a smile a hug.... anything to show that they are loved and acknowledged. 

Our passion should be deeply stirring or ungovernable, but instead we have passion-like ardor which is an
excited feeling likely to be fitful or short-lived.  

I want passion everyday.... all day. I want passion for the kingdom. 

I grieve for the passion of the church.... how long it has been paralyzed too. How many people do we send away who want money or a ride from someone here or there. Giving is giving... we give and we leave the rest to God. 

If we don't.... the world will. They will do it under every perversion of "LOVE"... 

God is Love, It is His very nature--- let's give credit where credit is due.

10 Honest things...

Taking the advice from my friend John... I figure I won't plague you with having to come up with a question to ask about me.. I'll just give you some information you probably don't care to know. So here goes...

10 HONEST things about me:
1. In order for me to go to sleep, I rub my feet together...( Beginning to wonder if I actually have RLS, but I usually stop when I finally go to sleep.)
2. I am relatively a easy going person until I hit by breaking point and then I have a bad temper....unfortunately it happens a lot more often with Asher than anyone else. Thus, I have a lot of guilt for this. I am working on it though.
3.I went through a phase of stealing when I was younger... not sure what it was brought on by..... but never stole anything from the store-- mainly from my sister or my friends. I think now I desperately wanted to be someone else... it created a mind that thought other people's things were so much better than what I ever had.
4. I struggle with worry. ( If you have read this blog before, you probably already know) I have some of the worst case scenarios go through my head--mainly dealing with Asher and what I would do in case it should happen. ( I know I'm a little nuts)
5. I really wish that I would have lived on campus in college. Had the college experience and made friends, lived the craziness of dorm life.... maybe I would have finished all in one go! My reasoning behind it was to save money as well as I worked a LOT! Right after class I would go to work.
6. I have always daydreamed of being famous. Never a really BIG dream, but always thought that it would be nice to be looked at as a movie star. ( This probably goes along with wanting to be someone else) Also I love to act, even though I'm not very good at it.
7. OK this one is hard to admit...... ahem. I once screamed  and cried at the video, "My Heart Will Go On" after seeing the movie Titanic. "NO JACK! DON"T LET GO!!!!!!!!!!....... Oh my. I'm a moron for putting that!
8. I have a small birthmark that looks like tyrannosaurus rex on my upper thigh. Rich can only appreciate this one.
9. I read people really well. Most of my intuitions have been right about people, so you're not fooling anyone here!
10. I was baptized in a creek... and I hold this so dear. Not many people now a days can say this. Just is awesome to be bathed in something that God created in the earth. Someday if I ever go to Israel, I would love to be baptized in the Jordan and would love for my husband to be the one to do it. Heard Candice Cameron tell a story about this and made my cry so hard!
There you have it guys... more information than you'd ever want to know about me.

".....Getting to know you"...

If there was ever a question you wanted to ask about me... ANYTHING. Ask it here:
Thought it might be fun

No one Smiled.--

Sinful man I know.... we can't deny that our inner selfish, attention seeking flesh makes our decisions.
Life can just really suck sometimes.
Circumstances in our life can make living unbearable sometimes.
I am sad for this world.

People in this day are hurting....
I was at Walmart, where I know most good moods leave us, but while I was shopping I noticed people.
They were angry.. shut off, empty almost.
No one smiled at me other than a couple of people who accidentally almost bumped into me. Trust me I was ready to smile at them!
I just got to thinking what on earth is making people so hollow?
No one wants to be talked to, or talk to anyone else. They want to do their shopping and go home. No problems.
And yet what do we do?... we ignore the lives of those hurting around us so we don't.............. what?
Help me on this....
Why do we strictly choose not to think anyone matters other than us?