I have had some pretty vivid and crazy dreams lately that have made my anxieties come out a little more. On more than one occasion I have been dreaming that Rich leaves me for another woman.
I wake up so hurt and furious with him!
I think that he knows who will come after him if he would ever ( which I NEVER think he would) !
All the talk about whether we are having a boy or a girl is very apparent in EVERY conversation that I have, so it would only be normal to have dreams about it too.
As opposed to some pregnant women, I have no "feeling" of what it could be.... I know that it has been different and more hormonal that Asher's, but you can NEVER know.. no matter how many wives tales you try to believe.
Anyways, my dream was that as I was getting "the ultrasound" they told me everything looked good other than the baby had no "parts". The wording in my dream was that the baby was sterile and that we needed to choose if we wanted to raise it as a boy or a girl. Talk about crazy!!!
So of course in my Mama worrisome mind, I have been praying about and worrying that there is something wrong with the baby. I know how ridiculous this may seem... but it is a true worry to me. I think about how lucky I was in getting such a sweet, smart, and healthy boy and that my luck has ran out. I think that my reasoning has been magnified by the loss of a baby a month before I was pregnant with this one.
I guess it plays into the thought that we honestly don't care what the sex of the baby is, just that it is healthy and at least has "parts"!!
Having some progress with house worries and just praying that all of this is God's timing and that we can finally move!
Emily, I totally relate to this post. We were told Quinn was a girl and thought he was for the first 30 weeks. When we found out we were having a boy I prayed that he would just be a healthy boy. We were told that for certain he would be a girl and then for certain he would be a boy. I started praying that he just wouldn't have both "parts". However, in case of that happening I did know what our plan was. :)! I only laugh when I think about my fears now. I also understand after miscarrying you are happy with any outcome. I just feel so appreciative for having Quinn that I only felt joy about ever part of pregnancy... Well, except the final two weeks. ;)!! Love you and praying for you.
ReplyDeletePimple farm, haha. as for the baby worries, I'm sure the Lord will work it all out wonderfully. He rocks at that. <3 (PS-Want to win a pair of Cents of Style shoes of your choice? Enter on my blog today: www.rubygirlblog.com)
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