Good Company

Most posts, as a devoted mother, are about my life as a Mom. Today, I want to talk about my life as a Wife.
I met my husband in highschool and knew right away that there was something incredible about him. He was a Christian-check, handsome--check, had an AMAZING voice--check *sigh, faint*,  not to mention smart and hilarious. All these things made me have stars in my eyes when I was around him. After knowing him a little more and knowing how he did not date--EVER, I brushed it out of my mind and instead put him on the highest pedestal there was. We were auditioning for a production and during call-backs we all had to do kiss takes. Normally, no big deal..... this time I was paired up with Rich.... BIG DEAL! I remember the butterflies in the pit of my stomach leading up to it. I felt like I was going to throw up. The time had come... there we were, face to face, and all I could do was giggle. I felt like the biggest moron, but I could not stop it. Every time he would go in for a smooch, I would laugh! After about 5 or 6 tries, he lays one on me!!!!! I have always imagined the movie kisses with music and fireworks and time stands still, but never had I experienced it first lips.... until that moment.
After that, I could not suppress my feelings as I once had been able to. So avoidance was the only way to deal. Luckily we didnt have many classes together and so It worked... for a while.
That spring we were in another production together.... and for the most part I could hide my feelings. After the last night of the show we all went to a cast party and had a great time. But for some reason each time Rich and I were in the same room, I would be sick. Literally, SICK. I either felt like I was about to burst into tears or puke all over myself. Felt this way all night long.  The one who I wanted to talk and hang out with more than anyone was Rich, but I had to stay away from him the whole night.
After that night, it became extremly hard to talk to him---- in fact, there was one day while we were in class together that you could cut this tension with a knife. I felt like everyone knew that I was in love with him.
Time passed and summer came. It was a lot easier to ignore without seeing him each and every day! We had mutual friends that we would hang out with so I saw him a few times that summer. I even went to see him in a Community Theater play and was able to hold my cool to talk to him for a while. After that we saw each other more and more.
I remember when we first started talking, staying up until the wee hours in the morning with the biggest and most cheesy and disgusting smile on my face that WOULD not go away. I could have talked for the whole day and night! The very mention of his name and there the smile would return to my face.
I realize now that I think God was in on this the whole time. He caused the sickness for all that time and waited for the best moment to reveal why.
We just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and really married life has been easy. I sometimes feel guilty for this fact. Like, is it supposed to be this way? Am I doing something wrong?
Lately I have been reading a Donald Miller book. He talks about his battle with relationships and how he always seeks advice from others on this topic. He was interviewing a friend who had been married quite some time. He asked him if he believed in "the one" theory. There is only one person out there made for you.
The man decided that no, he didn't believe this to be true. He felt like you can pick your spouse just like you do your dog. You research yourself and your lifestyle and match them accordingly. He says that he felt like his wife was "good company".
I pondered this, because I once thought that Rich and I were "soulmates".... and still feel in some ways we are. BUT.... I agree with this "good company" mentality. God gives you guidelines in how to look for  your mate but you ultimately get to choose who you want to spend your life with. Anymore, a marriage is just a form of entertainment, and as soon as it gets boring... they jump ship and head on to the next one. ( Now... some circumstances regarding divorce are not this way.... ) But the majority of the world feels and acts this way.
I may not have the heeby jeebies every time Rich walks into the room, but I can't wait for him to get home at the end of the day. I may not put on makeup and fix my hair when he comes over, but I don't have to. I may not want to talk to him every minute of everyday, but I cherish the conversations we now have as a family.
I still think he is the most handsome, and love that he is so deeply in love with God, and, ( it seems impossible) but his AMAZING voice has got BETTER!*sigh, faint*   I don't know what I did to have this most incredible person in my life, but he makes me a better person. He is my ultimate BEST friend. And so I am so humbled and honored to wear his ring on my finger and share his last name. I am looking forward to the memories we will make and times we will share together and you better believe that I will have the best company.