Oh the joys of being a woman. Sudden tearful bursts, hot flashes, mood swings, etc.....
Rich and I have been doing so wonderful lately. We have finally been somewhat stress free with financial issues we were having and went to a cash only plan for paying. It has been wonderful.
I am a contoller. Yep... there is it. The first step... admitting it. So, I have LOVED being given the boundaries and rules plainly. There is no room for error... when the cash is gone, it's GONE. Not that I abused this before, but there would come an occasional purchase that I would forget to give Rich the receipt for. Then I would get a lecture and feel awful about it... even if it were only 5 bucks.
With this change, we have been going to a financial adviser and she has done such wonderful things for us. She has even got us a new insurance plan that will save us quite a bit. With this change comes a little tweak in our family planning. We can't get pregnant with our next one until October 2011. Really, on any other given "time of the month" I would have taken this news and said ok. This week I cried about it. Almost as if they are telling me I can't have children. How crazy is that? I realized that I wanted another child more than I thought. I longed for a brother or sister close to me to share my room with and fight with. Because, to me, that was like a live in best friend. I have always known that I want to have more than one child and fairly close together. So, I guess to prolong it was just pushing the distance of them farther apart and for some reason that scares me. As if 3 months is going to matter greatly. Like I said... I like things planned and written out so I know what to expect.... and you know, you would think from the experiences in my life that have NOT gone this way, I would learn that God is in control and he knows what is best for me more than I do. I don't know what is up ahead... He does. And I'm ok with that.... now that I have had my cry.
You know Emily God does have it all planned out for us and we just need to keep believing it. I wanted to be a mom soooo bad and the sad part to that was I didnt have a husband. How could I have a baby without the daddy? I had dated but never found "The One" that I wanted to spend my life with and be the father of my child. On my 40th b-day I was kinda freaking out I thought here I'am 40 yrs old with no children, what a sad life that would be- a childless life. Well what I did was scary and exciting but I talked to family and God and decided to adopt. It was the very best decision for me and it was easier than I thought, why? beacause I told God to handle it all for me and he did just that. I have the most beautiful, smart, healthy, little boy and there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of his birth mother and how hard that must have been on her and how happy she made me. Jaden's birthday is in less than a week and he will be 5 which is so hard for me to believe. I just wanted to share with you that wonderful things happen to those who have patience and trust in God! I wish you the very best.....
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