I know people told me that having 2 would be hard.
From day to day, it seems ok.
When I'm in the heat of the grind I pay no attention. But then I stop and reflect on the day and what it became.
I feel I got through the day, but rarely do I feel Asher and I have connected and had fun.
This is where I am.
Asher has been a Mama's boy up to this point. Daddy has always been special, and he has always loved to play with him more than me, but recently he CLINGS to Rich.
Tell me this is normal... that this is good for a little boy to do.....
This Mama worries it is because he doesn't think that I love him or that I am willing to care for him like I used to.
I know that this seems a little overdramatic, since I know that he knows I love him.
It may be his age, followed by Owen coming along, but I just feel very disconnected from him.
I will admit that it is hard trying to balance your time between 2 kiddos that need and want your attention.
Since Owen has been born we spend a LOT more time staying home than we used to. I am not a person who likes to go all the time. It wears me out. ESPECIALLY with a 4 and 3 month old.
Owen's naps are very inconsistent right now so I'm never guaranteed a good hour to spend playing with Asher, laundry, dishes.... I simply have to pick which is most important at that moment.
I don't know if this is just only child for 4 years... but it seems like Asher just needs someone to play with him constantly. I don't remember having this much trouble getting him to play when it was just the 2 of us. Now that we have some competition in the mix... he's very needy and very much seeking attention however he can get it. We reassure him all the time how important he is in the family and what his job is as an older brother.
I just feel like I don't enjoy him right now.
I feel all I do is get on to him for this or for that because he's roaming around the house with nothing to do. And THAT is when he gets in trouble the MOST.
So.... this transition period has been pretty rough on everyone.
I can't imagine how tough it is with two. I feel like I'm just now finding my stride with one. I have a feeling it will get easier for you as Owen gets a bit bigger. When he's able to sit and play on his own, it will open up more time to play with Asher. Hang in there, friend!
ReplyDeleteTwo can be rough Emily, we have had 3 for almost 3 years and there are days that I still feel like I just have to go into survival mode just to get through the day. Marshall went through the same thing of favoring Justin over me for the longest time, I felt left out and very disconnected from him but when he really needed me, I was still there, and Marshall knew that. It's just a stage with having a new sibling....I promise, it will pass. You are doing a great job!! Remember dishes, laundry, cleaning will never go away and will always be there but your boys won't be little forever. It does get easier....eventually. Hang in there, you are doing an amazing job!!
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