Loaded Questions........

Hmmmm.....
I'm coming off of a very emotionally exhausting evening.
I was at work at all day yesterday. Bible Study is scheduled for Thursday nights.
I was struggling between going and staying home with Asher.
I remembered someone saying that anything worth doing is worth sacrifice. So.......
Despite my initial resist to stay home and have a evening with Asher, I decided to join my husband and go.
From the time I got home it was rush, rush. Asher was not really hungry for dinner yet, so I asked if I could pack up some things and go by and get him some chicken and a milkshake and we would eat it there.
A couple who is hosting/teaching the study is so gracious to offer us some snacks before-hand. I had not been to it before so I was not sure what to expect.... I thought I would have enough time to sit and help Asher eat before going in...... but time crept up and after just getting Ash situated with his "dinner" it was time for the class to start.
He was not crazy about the idea of going to begin with, so he kept asking if I would come back later and see him....( kills me!!!!)
"Of course! I said, Mommy is going to come and pick you up to go home in a little bit, but you get to stay and play for a while." ( My sad attempt to keep it positive since I was dying inside)
He was cool with that, but as I walked away..... I saw him. Eating. Fast Food. All alone at the table.
All the other kids were playing already and so he had to wait to play until he ate a little.
As I walked out of the room he turned around and smiled and I threw him our "LoVe" in sign language. I closed the door and BAWLED....( you can ask my friends who were so lucky to witness it)!
I felt like Satan was right there telling me how horrible of a mother I was by coming to church  and leaving him in someone else's care after you have been gone from him all day.
I fought all I could not to tell Rich to hitch a ride with someone else and Ash and I were going home.
I of course drew attention to myself--- as I am not someone who you can't walk by and not noticed I have been crying...i.e. completely red everything... cheeks, eyes, ears, nose. So after a few pep talks from a few sweet women about how fine he was.... I went to the bathroom to calm down and pray.
I could tell that Satan was all over me.....
There was a blessing that he didn't want me to have. He knows how insane about scripture I can get when I am involved with a study and he wanted me having no part of it!
Looking back it's insane to think of all the stops he put out to put me back in that place.....
Rich was not in the best mood, we were all feeling tired and overwhelmed with a lot on our minds....
Which brings me to someone telling me how much I have my hands full with Asher.......
Moms? Have you ever had someone tell you this?
What is your first reaction?
Yeah. That was mine too......
But then I got to thinking.......
I don't notice it.
I guess it's like when you think a baby is actually kinda ugly ( in the world's view) but their parents think they are the most beautiful thing that was ever created.
Is Asher a handful.... yes, sometimes I can understand why some animals eat their offspring.
But you know what else?
As I brought that kid home we played eye spy all the way and every animal he described was a whale. Completely cracked me up
In the bathtub, he spelled the word Dog like this......XGH4. And argued with me that that was what it spelled.
He read to ME, word for word, the story of Jonah.... even played out God's voice.
He and I sprayed our "anti-bad thing" spray that protects his bed from big bad things like wolves and sharks.
He kissed and snuggled me goodnight and asked me how my foot was...( I dropped a glass bowl on it earlier in the day)
Needless to say, Asher is the perfect child for me..... he is incredibly smart, has a tender heart, insatiable imagination, and just melts this Mama in every way.
So yes.... by your terms, he may be a handful..... so I guess that's why God put him in my arms.
And I am so blessed and happy for him to be there.
So there.
And by the way.... I was so blessed to be in God's word and have already done my homework for the week AND read the next weeks scripture. Twice.
Bam.... take that Satan!