Resolutions?.... Nah..... REVOLUTIONS!

Hungry, Thirsty, Fatigue... nearly every urge and want that your body can create to keep itself alive. It's involuntary.... it just happens.
My spiritual life, one could say, is feeling all of this. But because it's been so long since it's been consistently fed, the pains have grown few and far between. When it does come, the pain has become  nothing more than a pin prick since it's been starved for forever.
I like to think I am a deep thinker most the time..... I am one who LOVES school. I don't like the homework aspect, but if I could have audited every class I would have. I love to learn new things, study things, make discoveries. More than anything I love to have my mind stimulated by knowledge.  I soak in deep conversations.
Here's my predicament- I serve... to the point I could be a servaholic. Rich and I were talking about this after church on Sunday. He said, "When do you go to church for you, Em?"
I got to thinking.... "Well, I said, I guess I don't know."
Are we supposed to go to church for us? I always thought you go for God.
It's not at all that I resent serving with the kids that I do... they are incredible. I LOVE seeing those little minds learn more about the God that loves them so. I WANT to be there to cultivate this in them.
It's just... I miss a Sunday School class. I am a person who likes to discuss. Needs to discuss.
In fact, I sometimes feel like I talk too much in small groups because that is how I learn... I have to work it out by talking it out. I am a mix of an auditory and kinesthetic learner.
So, yes, I get to listen to the message in the morning, but without me being able to raise my hand and ask "why?" I lose interest and start thinking about what were having for lunch. -- Not every time, but I don't get that deep study that I do with a small group Bible Study.
I guess that I should do better about making up for it at home with my quiet time, but I'm being honest.... It's really hard work. I am not the most disciplined person either. I'll do great for a while and something happens and it's over. I also love to talk with others... get their take on things.
So.... here's my New Year's need. I'm calling it a "need" because it makes it seem much more vital to my overall health and so I might take it more seriously.
I was inspired by a friend of mine and he had a great idea....
He was going to take 30 minutes each day to do each of the following:
    Read the Bible and have Study ( though for him I'm sure it's more than this)
    Prayer and Meditation
    Exercise
    Read for entertainment
He was to work on his spiritual health, mental health and physical health.
I think that this is a perfect idea.
These are areas that most, if not all, people need help on.
They are needs that have become placed on the back burner to laziness, busy-ness, and our changing world of complacency.
In my Bible study time, I would like to do this with Rich. He knows so much about the Bible and he is the one who I enjoy talking with the most. We are praying about a new plan to help connect the younger couples in our church who are all serving somewhere. If God helps us cultivate this and bring it to light, it will be revolutionary---at least for me.
These are needs that I want to make important.... so that they become involuntary or close enough to where my body aches and growls for them when I don't do them.
I mean think about how much time I'm actually committing to.... 2 hours. 2 hours in a day.
For me, I think that the most hard will be prayer. It's rare that I can sit and pray for longer than 10 minutes and to just be still. I have the hardest time focusing my brain on something for that long without my mind hopping around to random thoughts about anything but what I'm trying to do. Much less falling asleep... because with my life the only time I have to sit and be still is when Asher is asleep.
I know Satan is going to come at me with guns a blazing... I realize that each day will bring it's own challenges and temptations. I am going to take it one at a time. And though I know I will fail sometimes... because every one does, I will begin a new start each day and not get caught up in the days I ignore the needs.
Cause, it's needed. For me it's essential. It will make me love myself more therefore love others even better.
I don't want to be complacent, lazy, or undisciplined anymore. I don't want to be a barren tree.
I have a gift that was given to me.... this is the LEAST I can do with it.